Diets suck. What makes diets worse is bad diet food. Sadly I have a almost 2 hour commute daily and have lots to do when I get home to make up for my 12 hr absence.  I need low cal food that's going to be ready, FAST. I have seen Lean Pockets on every trip to the store and never bought them. Then I was lured in by a coupon that I received by that little machine @ the register that vomits coupons when you pay.  $1 off. Why I was taken in by a single friggin dollar off coupon is a subject for another blog. Anyway, I'd like to post some warnings for those of you that may also somehow end up with a box of these.

#1 Two "pockets" come in a box. The first one isn't for eating, it's actually a "Test Pocket". This one will most likely explode or become so glued to the sleeve that it will be rendered inedible. This test pocket is so that you can adjust the cooking time from Explosion, to simply Lava.
#2 The pocket will most likely not fit in the sleeve. Just cram in it there as best you can which will break off the entire top of the pocket. Now you have yourself a Lean non-pocket openfaced lava hot sandwich
#3 Make your pocket well in advance of being hungry. I'm not sure how long it takes these things to cool down, but I waited 10 minutes and still lost the roof of my mouth.
#4Don't expect it to be good. First, it is diet food, after all. Second, this is the red-headed stepchild of the Hot Pocket. If pepperoni pizza really tasted that bad, there wouldn't be a pizza joint on every corner.


Now I'm going to go wash my burnt to smithereens mouth out with salt water as punishment for falling for that $1 off coupon.