1. Be there at 7:30 am actually means be there at 8 am.
2. There is indeed metal in my super cute boots.
3. If the room is sporting 3 inch books and 1,000 piece puzzles, it's gonna take a while.
4. Moving from one room to another is a lot like herding cattle, sans the cattle prod.
5. They need cattle prods.
6. Some members of the public think 'business attire' is pink boardshorts paired with a baby blue graphic tee and fanny pack.
7. Male jurors act like Jerry Lewis when faced with a woman in a suit.
8. Said male jurors say ridiculous things to suit wearing women.
9. Bailiffs don't like when you chew gum.
10. Bailiffs really don't like when you do it twice ... in less than 10 minutes.
11. I really like to chew gum, and piss off bailiffs.
12. My County does NOT like to excuse jurors. They have day care for ppl with kids, and for those without transportation, your jury badge will get you a free ride on the bus.
13. All the potential jurors who filled out the hardship form were wearing excellent suits.
14. I had to fill out the hardship form because my suit was excellent.
15. The term Personal Hardship can be dragged kicking and screaming into gray area of question-ability.
16. I should have been a lawyer.

I need rain boots. I've finally given up on hating the rain and decided to embrace it. So like any shoe loving woman would, I start the search online. I'm pretty short, 5'2" to be exact. Some of these rain boots are so tall they look like they belong on Julia Roberts in pretty woman. I know my life isn't all that exciting but I don't need rain boots smacking me in the crotch while I'm trying to navigate through a storm. OK that's an exaggeration. They're still too tall though, lol. All was going well until I found a pair of rain boots that were the perfect height, perfect pattern, and perfect design ... other than the weird sole, but I was willing to over look that part, lol. I click the link and what do I see? "Made with 100% water based adhesives". Hmmm... ok, interesting choice for RAIN boots... I read on... "Vegan".  Really? Ok. Reading further... "Recycled cardboard shanks" This one I had to search. Even though I've never been to jail, I certainly watch too much TV, and to me a cardboard shank sounds like a weapon for an incredibly stupid prisoner, or somebody trying to give a really nasty paper cut. After some research it turns out the shank is the part of the shoe that runs between the heel and the outsole, and sits under the arch of the foot. They're typically made of metal or plastic, so I don't feel real good about cardboard. Next! "Entirely bio-degradable sole". So that ugly sole is going to bio-degrade on me? Entirely? Greaaat, lol.  That last one killed this cute lil boot for me. It had too many strikes against it. These things have got to be the most Eco boots on the planet, and that's great! I'm all for re-use and recycle when it makes good sense,  but a rain boot that's basically glued cardboard and a bio-degrading sole together with  water soluble solvents for use in rain? Shame, they were cute.

I am immune to a lot of things ... babies, kittens, flowers, chocolates, etc. But God help me, old folks are my kryptonite. I just can't save myself from old people. I will buy whatever it is they're selling. I will stay and listen to whatever rambling message they're trying to give me. I've even sat through a horrible visit while being shown scars, yes scars, with a smile on my face. I let them wander blindly in front of me in a line at the store with their cart full of 99 cent items while I stand there with only a loaf of bread. I'll even sit through an angry old folk tirade aimed in my general direction and never bat an eye.

Except for Black Friday. >:)   Black Friday it's every man for themselves, granny. I can't wait for Thanksgiving!

 

Shopping cart jams in the aisles are endless everywhere you go. Same with people traffic through a mall. Massive nasty jam ups that are totally avoidable if people would follow the rules of the road in the store. North bound on the right, South bound on the left. Same goes for east and west. It seems so simply obvious to me that it amazes me that shopping is such a nightmare, and I know that we don't have a bunch of Europeans all over the place screwing up the works since they drive on the other side of the road, lol. In addition there's a few other issues I've noticed. Men ... when you stop to get something in an aisle, pull the cart over to the side. You don't get out of your car in the middle of the street and walk away leaving everyone to go around you, so why would you leave your cart in the middle of the aisle blocking everyone?  Parents, please have your kids in check. You don't let them get out in traffic every time you stop the car and let them leap frog down the road, so why are they doing it down the cereal aisle? Folks that go to the mall to catch up with 10 of their closest friends rather than shop, please go to the center of the mall or the food court. You're blocking the precious 5 ft of space that allows for people traffic to shuffle through. And just for good measure since we're talking about shopping ... Kiosk people, no means no, if you spray me with anything or grab me in any way, I'm taking you to the floor, lol.

The fact that I see these signs posted at restaurants that are no where near the beach, where this type of situation would be prevalent, disturbs me. But, alas, rules are made because some idiot somewhere has gone awry and waltzed into a Red Robin half naked demanding a burger and now we're all subjected to stupid signs and rules of some sort. The same goes for business. Some comatose co-worker does something ridiculous and the next thing you know, there's an extra page added to your 'used to be simple' form. Stupid rules are made when stupid people do stupid things. Sane people of the world, we're under attack. These people are making our lives harder and our work longer. They have to be stopped. I would assume it wouldn't be difficult since they seem to take the easiest route possible in every situation. How about pointing a sign off a cliff that says "Free Cheese"?